Short Films!

Undone

as Travis

What would it be like to have 24 hours with the man who killed your daughter? Travis is about to find out when a sympathetic prison guard delivers the infamous Lollipop Killer to his door. This innovative film utilizes a small cast and crew and the amazing improvisational skills of the cast.

Love

as Rick

David's first on-film role, he plays Rick, the concerned friend in one lame ass short film. One day of shooting, when David's head was shaved, resulted in an entire lost segment of movie since the dumbass gaffer didn't notice the glare!

The Rainbow Avenger

as seen in the anthology Boxer Shorts

Writer, Director, Producer

The world's first, 10 minute, silent, black and white gay superhero epic featuring Ross Williams as the title character! Music by the Ghoultones is the only saving grace of this turd. Might as well buy it, though, the other films on the compilation are pretty darn good!

Roleplay

as Ed

David's first PAYING GIG (and it seems like the last!). David plays Ed, a Dungeons & Dragons dungeonmaster that beats his fiancee. The other guys in his jerk-off, uum, gaming club find out and toss his fat ass to the curb. This instantly makes Ed stop thumping the ho. Yeesh. Produced in 1999 by Button Pictures, David thinks he has the only remaining copy.

Keyboard Romance

as April

Whew. This one is a doozy! A young man, working in a video store, rents some porn to David and it comes back with a little man goo on it! Aside from that, the video store jerk is cyber-dating this chick named April. When he goes to visit her it turns out to be guess who? Exactly! In skirt, lipstick and feather boa, David mauls fellow actor John Doles in a scene reminiscent of Deliverance (without the pigs, penetration or Burt Reynolds).

Buy Keyboard Romance
at
www.quitebitter.com

Heinous Ghouls

as Zombie #673

Tony Gautier's homage to Sam Raimi and George Romero, David said he would show up and help out. That means he played a zombie for almost .03 seconds. Not a bad film, but not a lot of the Hayes-man.

Buy Heinous Ghouls
at
www.quitebitter.com

Missionary Style

as Dad

Two bumbling crooks, posing as Mormon missionaries, try and loot a house. David, driving a van full of kids and his wife, run over the idiots when they try and make their escape. Not too sure what happened to this film. If anyone has seen it, drop a line to davidchayes@hotmail.com.

The Chess Game

as The Chess Player

Bizarro student film where David plays chess against the devil. And loses of course.

Torn Asunder

as The Husband

Student film in which David beats his wife, who then leaves him. Not too sure what happens after that since the filmmaker decided "art" was more important than making any sense whatsoever!

The Message

as Harvey

David plays the obnoxious 'good neighbor' to a woman who's husband has recently died. That husband, of course, has a cryptic message from beyond the grave. Good luck. From Caribou Moving Pictures.

Nice Shoes

as Shoe Store Manager, Bum

A creepy little film about being nice to the homeless! David plays a Shoe Store manager that gives a real ass a pair of shoes that makes derelicts drool and a bum that brings the shoe man down on the ass. Revenge, like Angel or Death Wish, in a convenient short film form!

Check it out at
www.niceshoesthemovie.com

Sleepwalkers

as Video Store Manager

David plays a Video Store Manager in a very small scene. The cast and crew were wonderful and David felt great to get in front of an actual FILM camera again! Check out this nice little drama when it premieres in December in Phoenix!

Laws of Deception

as the Hit

David plays the name on a hitman's contract and gets offed in good ol' fatboy style... straight into a plate of alfredo. Directed by Charles Peterson, also stars Jose Rosete.

Check out Charles' production company
at
www.coolwavepictures.com

Spider-Vamp

Writer

Brainstorm Video is shooting this little contract piece about a woman who has the powers of a spider and a vampire. Pictures soon.

Eyes of Cruelty

as Big Guy Smith

David plays a no nonsense kick your ass for being a geek kind of guy in this one. Premiered recently in Chicago, but he still hasn't seen it. If it is bad, don't tell him. If it is good, e-mail like the wind!

Hit Chicks

Writer

A New Breed Cinema (www.anewbreedcinema.com) is filming this little in production on this Tarantino-esque orgy of violence from David's script.

Snuff Diaries

Writer

A New Breed Cinema (www.anewbreedcinema.com) is filming this little snippet of depravity from David's script. The title just about says it all.

Television!

WAE Wrestling!

Play by Play Announcer

David is the NEW play by play announcer for Western Alliance Entertainment Wrestling! Coming soon to Phoenix TV on Cox Cable don't miss your one hour adrenaline rush every week!

More information at www.waewrestling.com!

The Middle: Jimmy Eat World

as Fat Guy in Whitie Tighties

Remember that video that never stopped playing? Remember the fat guy that was at the party and looked really mean? Well, there you have it.

ER

as Guy Cut from Scene

David swears he had a line in the damn show. The episode directed by Anthony Edwards that featured Michael Rappaport dying. Fat bastard was cut, but he's got the check stub to prove it!

Ultimate Film Fanatic

as Audition Fool

David didn't make the show, but they used footage of his audition in the whack Audition Special. Check out the show at www.ifc-tv.com or on the Indpendent Film Channel. Hosted by Chris Gore of Film Threat fame.

Expose: On Acting

as Interviewee

David's first on-screen television interview was with a large-breasted bimbo whose interviewing skills were resting soley in her engorged nipples. Included for historians and completists only.

Thrasher & Acrobat

Writer

Another contract job for Brainstorm Video. This is a female superhero duo with great bodies... I mean powers. Get it? T & A? Forget it... go home.

Ketchup: The P.A.C.F.I.C.S.

as Kung Fu Customer

The PACIFICS were a Chicago-based polynesian rap group... seriously. In this music video for their song "Ketchup" David gets into a Kung Fu fight in a Chinese restaurant. You think we make this stuff up don't you! Directed by Jeff Orig.

Eve

as Harvey

David plays the comedic fat sidekick to a mad scientist resurrecting the corpse of a hot model (Blanche Spaulding) in this web series!